“HOME”

For a place I never really wanted to be and didn’t want to stay, I do refer to it as home.  I guess it’s inevitable if you grow up as a military kid and actually having the opportunity to settle down.  I was fortunate in that.  I probably wouldn’t have picked the little town in south east GA, and I certainly complained enough while I was there so why am I homesick?  I spent my teenage and college years there wishing for something more.  .

I didn’t take it all for granted entirely though.  Those years are so important and I had exactly what I neededI made friendships stronger than I could have ever imagined.  But that’s why it hurts so much.  Life goes on, people change and move and slowly lose touch.  I’ve always been aware of this (obviously since I moved so many times).  I moved out of state and have grown and changed as well.  My heart still longs for my friends, the memories, laughter and tears we shared.  Knowing they truly understood me and were there for me is a hard feeling for me to let go.

There are some days I’d give just about anything for a movie night with cookie dough or meeting up somewhere for drinks and a tipsy trip to Wal-Mart just because.  It makes me sad that I’m not there to celebrate or cry with them when big things happen in their lives.  I wish they were there for those things in my life too.

Again, I don’t take for granted the time I do have with them.  Since I’ve moved away most of them are actually still in the area so I spend lots of time with them when I go home for a visit.  It’s just never enough time.  These people that used to be my every-day are now just few times a year.  It hurts to think that it’s about to get harder as my parents move away and making the trip to visit will take a little more planning.  I already feel distant and I don’t want it to get worse.

I have beautiful wonderful friends and my love for them hasn’t changed.