Online dating has become more widely accepted as a way of meeting people and future partners. It’s becoming less stigmatized than it was when people thought only geeks living in basements with homicidal tendencies were on dating sites. There are pros and cons and I still advise everyone to be very careful when going to meet someone for the first time. However, I’ve had several friends who have used it with varied success. Personally, I have participated and it’s turned out pretty amazing for me so far. Here’s how it happened.
When you’re just a small town girl, living in a lonely world and you can’t take a midnight train as much as you’d like you use the internet to escape. Sure I could continue binge watching Netflix but Netflix doesn’t hold my hand or kiss my forehead or buy me ice cream. I had tried to meet guys in person, but I worked 2 jobs in childcare, no opportunity there. My friends were single or married…no in-between. I tried going to a bar, but it’s not my scene and although I talked to a few guys I was very uncomfortable so I let that idea go. Besides, that’s not how I wanted my future romance story to start. To tell you the truth, at the time I didn’t want it to start online either, but I’ll get to that. Bottom line is: I was bored.
The thing about online dating is you get to make your first judgement without them watching your facial expression. That can be very beneficial. Since I was one of the girls who never really had guy friends or a boyfriend, I didn’t really know anything about guys other than what I read in Nicholas Sparks books. I spent hours doing “research” just trying to understand a small part of the male brain. (Even though, I know what’s on the profile is probably exaggerated in their favor, it still can be very entertaining). Call me old fashioned, but I didn’t message any guys first because I felt they should initiate conversation if they were interested. I got some interesting message. This is one of my favorites.
Flattering Frank “I should take you out before you get famous!” I know it’s a line, but I thought it was kinda cute.
Then there was Sob Story Steve “how are you” “I’m good, you?” “been better, but I’ll get through it.” Dude, sorry you’re not ready for a relationship and I don’t know you enough to help you with your problems.
Let’s not forget Weird Will “you have nice hands” I truly didn’t know how to respond to that, my profile pictures did not accentuate my hands in any way.
There were in betweens that just said “hey” or had a better opening line and we talked in a friendly manner but I either didn’t like them to meet up or I was just too nervous. It didn’t really bother me, because I wasn’t really ready either. Flash forward a few months, I continue talking to people and finally agree to meet up with someone. It goes well but I realize how different it is meeting someone in person than talking online, via text or even on the phone. We had hit it off great until we went out, to both of our disappointment.
A few months later, I moved and updated the site to my current location, got several new messages and had some good conversations. Then after messaging online, and texting and a few phone calls I agreed to meet up with this one guy. I didn’t know what to think. I felt awkward yet comfortable at the same time, must be love, right? I think so!
I’ll leave you with some tips
- It’s ok to be picky
- Talk for at least a week before meeting up, to get a better idea if they’re truly interested and if you are
- If they say something that bothers you make it clear right away, or ya know just ignore them and hopefully they’ll get the hint
- If you meet up, arrive separately and make sure it is in a public place that you are somewhat familiar with
- Be yourself…duh!