Birthday Wish!


Letter to my 36 Year old self

Dear Future Alli,

Have you panicked about being in your 30s?  Are you still staying up late for no reason? Do you have a job you love?

Today is my 26th birthday and I hope that ten years from now I can look back and smile on the memories I’ve made and the woman I’ve become.  It will be a period of lots of changes and I hope I can say I do my best each day.  By this time I’m guessing you and your love will have been married and probably have a couple of kiddos who are driving you crazy but that you love more than anything in the world.  Visiting mom and dad in FL is special because more than likely daddy is still working but will take off for your return and they are the best grandparents ever!  I have no clue where you’ll be living or what you and your husband have achieved in your careers but I know that you will continue to support each other as you pursue goals that help you fulfill your purpose.  I hope that you’ve got some really awesome friends to enjoy and are still in touch with people that mean so much to you right now.  Now for questions.

What came after SmartPhones?

Do we have flying cars?

How is Westley?

What did having kids do to your body?

Do you live closer to parents or in-laws?

What’s your favorite band/song?

Do we have robot house maids?

Will he do the dishes now?

Have you learned a new language or have a new hobby?

Do you exercise?

Letter to my 16 year old self.

I’m about to be 26 years old (T-6 days).  No longer mid-twenties, young adult, adolescent.  Age is just a number right?  Well they say as you get older you get wiser.  That’s true, only if you pay attention.  No surprise that I’ve changed a lot in 10 years, it’d be kinda bad if I hadn’t.  These are things I would tell my 16 year old self.

Dear Alli,

Right now have just had a wonderful dinner at the Cheesecake Factory with your best girls.  You are in going into 11th grade at CCHS and learning to drive….sorta. You finally feel like you’re coming out of your shell and feeling a little less awkward.  You’re looking forward to AP classes and wondering if you can muster up the courage to talk to your crushes. So things are great in life…not too complicated and yet you stress.

Here’s my advice-the things I wish I could’ve told myself.

On school- you’re smart so give yourself some credit.  It will get done. You will do fine, do not spend nights crying.  Keep studying but find an outlet.  You think it isn’t possible but look for something small, maybe a little more volunteering.

On boys- it’s ok to that you’re not dating.  In fact, I still think it’s for the best.  Whatever you do though, don’t use a Myspace quiz to tell your crush you like him!  Anything but that!  You will look gorgeous at both proms, make the most of those nights.  Those high school guys underestimate how hot you’re going to get in the next few years once all the teenage awkwardness wears off.


On the future-  Alli, you are so innocent and it’s a rare privilege. You have beautiful dreams, that at 26 you are still trying to achieve.  Reality will come and hit you like a big ol’ slap in the face but YOU WILL BE OK!  Be confident in yourself.

Overall Alli you are going to be fine.  Maybe work on some balance, physically and mentally but you’ll get there plus now you have an awesome boyfriend to help you too!

“Why She Finally Left” words I’ve been looking for.

After all I’ve been through the past few years, I could not have said this better.  It is all my thoughts that I couldn’t put into the right words, the feelings that are so hard to explain.  It makes me feel better understood that other women have felt the same way.  One day soon, I hope to share my journey and experience behind this vague but poignant blog.

Chronic Conditions

Have you ever had a chronic illness, or rather physical ailment that manifested in a very unattractive visible manner?  I have. 3 times. Lasting 6 months or more.  Trust me when I tell you I feel far more uncomfortable than you.  Here’s a list of things that may go through your mind but are better left unsaid.

1.  EWW!– obviously, thank you for adding emotional insecurity on top of the physical pain.  I am fully aware it looks kinda gross- I have to look at it a lot more than you do.  Plus that’s just plain rude!  Also refrain from other jokes unless we are at that level.

2. What happened? In my history, nothing happened to cause these reactions.  My body just began to act crazy for no known cause. You may be concerned for my well being but I am sensitive and don’t like that question.

3.  Is it contagious? Look, I have common sense. If it were contagious I would be taking the necessary precautions and likely not be around you.  Also, I look and feel like crap I don’t need a reminder that people feel like they don’t want to be around me.

4. Did you Google it? Yes because I have internet access. No the information wasn’t helpful.

5. Did you get the test results? Unless you are a family member, friend or person I trusted enough to discuss this issue with  you are asking about my personal medical stuff.  It’s not your business what the results were.

Now, Here are things I appreciate hearing.

1.  How are you feeling today?  The condition will likely have bad days and very bad days.  Don’t ask if it’s getting better, just ask how I am.

2.  Would you like help finding information? If you are someone I have shared the details of my condition with and you think you may have another way to phrase the symptoms in Google search, yes you may help.  If you understand some medical jargon, yes you may help.  If you or an acquaintance have had experience with this yes you may help.  Typing in “red itchy bump rash” does NOT help, but go ahead and look at the pictures in image search :).

3. I know you don’t feel 100%, but you’re doing great.  Some days the pain and discomfort is less severe, but it’s still distracting.  However, I don’t like to let it get me down too much.  Sometimes it does.  Just a friendly encouraging word goes a long way.

4. Do you want some chocolate?  YES!